The Lost Art of Grief Tending

Originating from the latin root word ‘tener’ meaning soft and gentle; grief tending invites us to bring compassion to our grief, as we would to a small child or a wild garden.

When we create spaces for our grief to be witnessed and welcomed, not only do we allow our grief to flow and move, but we also expand our capacity to feel love, connection and presence.

In fact, in the Guatemalan Tz’utujil language the word for ‘grief’ and ‘praise’ are the same. It is with this awareness that grief becomes something that we learn to embrace; something we can integrate as a core human faculty and a willingness to be alive, fully.

Our grief tending events are inspired by the work of Francis Weller and rooted in the practices of connection, embodiment, rest and ritual.

As we remember how to tend to our grief in this way, we emerge with the capacity to hold it all; love and loss, grief and gratitude and life and death. In the words of Kahlil Gibran, the deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

  • Connection

    “The truth is that we were never meant to do this alone.”

    We come together in community to welcome grief, honour loss, and reconnect to our human yearning for intimacy and belonging. By gathering together to share our grief we restore connection to each other, ourselves and the earth.

  • Embodiment

    “Healing happens when we welcome our bodies back into the story.”

    We adopt a somatic approach to grief tending, offering ways to regulate our nervous system, understand the ways we unconsciously protect ourselves and come home to our bodies so that we can integrate grief and reclaim our aliveness.

  • Rest

    “Slow down and be excessively gentle with yourself”

    We recognise the need for a safe place to land, one where you can let go of the breathless pace of productivity, growth and progress. We offer practices to invite nourishment, integration and ease back into your life.

  • Ritual

    “Ritual restores our connection to life’s mystery, to which we all belong”

    We believe that even the simplest of rituals can be a gateway to connect with and release our grief. With guidance and support, we can all reconnect to the inherent natural connection we all have to ritual and ceremony.

The wounds we carry are the medicine we bring

Resources

Books, podcasts and films that I would recommend to support you in grief

Books

The Wild Edge of Sorrow - Francis Weller

It’s OK that you’re not OK - Megan Devine

Belonging - Toko Pa Turner

Grief works - Julia Samuel

Option B - Sheryl Sandberg

Rising Strong: Brene Brown

Notes on grief: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Videos & Film

Griefwalker - Stephen Jenkinson (film)

How do you help a grieving friend? (youtube)

We don't "move on" from grief. We move forward with it - Nora McInerny (Ted Talk)

Podcasts & Events

Griefcast hosted by Cariad Lloyd

Human hosted by Jess Mills

The Ted Interview podcast with Elizabeth Gilbert

Good grief festival

You can also hear Nici speaking on various podcasts including: Rooted Healing, Human, I’m Fine Thanks, Joan & Water Your Soul